Moon Madness/Transcript
Intro "Last time on Total Drama," Chris said. "After swapping teams, Cameron and Duncan were stuck living with the enemy," he laughed, "but while Cameron was given the cold shoulder by every villain, Duncan got a heroes' welcome so warm; it made him question his own bad-boyhood. At challenge time, giant pancakes were gobbled down and, in a few cases, thrown right back up thanks to a barf-tacular obstacle course. The Heroes finished first, but an uneaten chunk o' cake in Sam's pocket sent the Heroes to loserville and Sam took a particularly awkward Flush o' Shame. Eleven players remain. Which one of them is gonna take a circle-y swim in the big porcelain bowl? Find out right here, right now, on Total ... Drama ... All-Stars!" Opening sequence (Cameras extend from parts around Camp Wawanakwa.) Dear mom and dad, I'm doing fine. You guys are on my mind. (Camera rapidly moves past Chris, in a helicopter, and up a hundred foot cliff. The camera jumps off the cliff and enters the ocean where Scott is being chased by Fang.) You asked me what I wanted to be, and now I think the answer's plain to see. (Fang jumps out of the water, showing Courtney on a raft paddling toward him.) I wanna be famous. I wanna live close to the sun. So pack your bags 'cause I've already won. (The camera zooms in on a totem pole where Duncan is carving a skull that resembles a bunny as Zoey stares at him, causing him to stop and snap his knife. The camera zooms back where Zoey turns to see Mal with a rope, preparing to drop a boulder on Cameron. He quickly turns back to Zoey as Mike and grins.) Everything to prove, nothing in my way. I'll get there one day. 'Cause I want to be famous. (The camera moves to the Mess Hall where Alejandro and Heather are wrestling each other for the McLean Brand Chris Head. Heather knocks Alejandro down and the Chris Head falls into her hands. She laughs while Alejandro scowls at her.) Naaaa-na-na-na-naaaa, na-na-na-na-naaaa, na-na-na-na-na-naaaa! (The camera pans back to reveal the dock where Lightning is staring at his reflection in the water. In the water, Courtney is still chasing Fang, but the raft crashes into Duncan and Gwen’s boat and the latter smiles apologetically as Courtney sinks.) I wanna be, I wanna be, I wanna be famous! I wanna be, I wanna be, I wanna be famous! (Further in the water, Lindsay is jet-skiing and blowing kisses and Jo, also jet-skiing, shoves her aside when they crash into each other. The camera pans to Boney Island where mutants are chasing Sam and he is mauled by one, sending pieces of his clothes into the air until the day becomes the night.) Whistling. (At the campfire, Scott, bruised, and Courtney lean in to kiss, but Sierra snaps a picture of them on her phone and they flinch back. Camera pans back as the campers, separated with the Heroes on the right and the Villains on the left.) Act I The Villainous Vultures sat around a table in the Spa Hotel as the sun began to set in the background. Alejandro and Jo sat at one end while Heather and Gwen sat at the other. Cameron gulped as he approached the table. Alejandro, Heather, and Jo glared at him. Cameron sighed as he sat down with his food. "I spent my entire life in a bubble. I don't have the proper social skills needed to interact with the Villains. The only people I trust are Zoey and Mike, but after what that fifth personality said to me, I don't even know if I can trust Mike anymore. I feel like I'm trapped in a bubble again. It's only a matter of time before I lose any of the social skills I developed." "I'm glad you reconsidered my offer." Alejandro turned to Jo. Jo scoffed. "Don't flatter yourself. I'm in charge, remember? We get rid of Cameron first, then Scott, and then Heather. Besides, it's not like you actually want Heather gone. Don't try to deny it, you still care about her." Alejandro glared at Jo. "You do not know how deceptive Heather can be. If you are to become team leader, then we need to get rid of your fiercest competition." "Which is Toothpick," Jo said. "He may not look like much, but that little twerp got me hurled last time. I’m not making the same mistake again. You can get your revenge after I get mine." Heather whispered to Gwen. "Did you hear that?" "It was hard not to," Gwen said. "Since they're sitting right next to us." "Jo has it out for Cameron," Heather said. "Meaning that if we get him on our side, he'll help us vote her and Alejandro off." "I thought you said he was useless." Gwen said. "Apparently he's useful for this," Heather said. "Go make friends with him." "Me?" Gwen asked. "Why?" "Well, compared to me," Heather said. "You're the least intimidating and more friendly." "I'm a loner, remember?" Gwen said. "I know," Heather said. "But you only need to pretend to be friends. That way you can get him on our side, and more importantly, vote Jo and Alejandro off." "We're sitting right here!" Alejandro said. Alejandro, Jo, Heather, and Gwen glanced at each other. Around a table in the Mess Hall, Lindsay, Zoey, and Mike spoke incoherently to each other while Courtney and Duncan glared at one another. "As much as I'd love to admit how much I enjoy blankin' Courtney," Duncan said. "We're going to have to make nice if we want to survive being on the Hero team." He retched. "Just thinking about it makes me sick." "It's strategic," Courtney said. "Lindsay's already bonded with Mike and Zoey and I need Zoey gone. Under any other circumstance, I wouldn't give Duncan the time of day." She sighed. "I guess desperate times call for desperate measures. You can do this, Courtney – no matter how much you want to rip out his nose piercing." Courtney and Duncan smiled awkwardly. Duncan cleared his throat. "Anything on your mind, Prin – I mean, Courtney?" "Nope," Courtney said. "Just thinking. Uh, how's Scott doing on Boney Island?" "Wait? What?" Duncan raised an eyebrow. "Why would you care?" "No reason," Courtney scoffed and turned away. "I have a heart you know." Duncan rubbed his back. "I-I-I'm not going to respond to that." "Yoo-hoo!" Scott said. "Invincibility statue, come to poppa!" He pressed a branch into a pile of bushes. A boar emerged and roared. Scott screamed when a claw pressed around his head. "Hey! What the-?" The claw dragged him into the air and out of the bear's reach. Chef smiled as the claw retracted up to the helicopter. He flew toward Camp Wawanakwa. "Ha!" Scott said. "Later, sucker!" He slammed into several trees. "Oh! Eugh! Agh! Oh! Agh!" "Evening, campers! Gather 'round the starting line for a big announcement!" Chris said. The Hamsters and Vultures stood on a line outside the cabins. Chef flew over them and dropped Scott in front of them. He screamed and collapsed on the dirt. "Oh my gosh!" Courtney said. "Are you okay?" Scott stood. "Huh, why wouldn't I be? That was nothing." He groaned as he cracked his back. "Wait, why do you care?" "No reason," Courtney smirked. "Just hoping you'd be too tired to contribute to your team." "There's the Courtney I know," Duncan snickered. "Shut up!" Courtney yelled. Gwen crossed her arms. "Since when does Duncan talk to Courtney?" "Find the invincibility statue?" Cameron asked. "Remember our deal?" Scott said. "I'm not telling you if I did or didn't." "Just asking," Cameron flinched. Chris walked up to the campers. "Good news, you guys! As a special treat, it's time for an extremely dangerous nighttime challenge!" "How is this good news?" Gwen asked. "Entertainment value, hello!" Chris said. "This one is gonna be ratings gold! In a nod to season four's scavenger hunt fiasco, your challenge is to race to the far end of the island. First team to get every member across the finish line wins, and someone from the losing team will be taking the big flush." "Sounds easy enough." Duncan said. "It does, doesn't it?" Chris said. "But I haven't finished explaining the challenge. That challenge was also a scavenger hunt, and some of you will remember season 1's catch a wild animal hunt. Each team will be required to bring at least one unharmed animal to the finish line. Oh, and I almost forgot, tonight's full moon is an extremely rare Blue Harvest Moon." "A Blue Harvest Moon?!" Scott shivered. "You know what that is?" Duncan asked. "Of course!" Scott shouted. "Everyone who lives on the farm knows about the Harvest Moon. It's when the moon becomes unnaturally bright and we have to work harder to take advantage of the extra light to harvest crops in the dark." "Wow, Scott," Cameron said. "Even I didn't know that." "That's not the worst part," Scott said. "Don't ruin the surprise, Scott," Chris snapped. "Or Chef here will take you back to Boney Island with all the bunnies." Scott gulped. "Villainous Vultures, you won the last challenge, so you get this map with the fastest route across the island. Heroic Chump-sters, you get to wear nifty bacon hats and sausage tails, which should add to the fun when you come face to fang with the island's friendly creatures." Chef outfitted each of the Hamsters with the bacon hats and sausage tails. "And by friendly I mean hungry." Chris chuckled. "Who knew I could rock bacon hats and sausage tails?" Lindsay said. "If the Villains have a map of the quickest route," Courtney whispered to her team. "We should follow them!" Lindsay squealed. "Fat chance of that," Jo said. Courtney palmed her face. "Leave it to Lindsay to mess things up for us." Heather and Jo both walked to the map. "Uh, excuse you," Heather said. "Move aside, Hate-her," Jo said. Courtney glared at Gwen. Gwen dipped her head and sighed. "Are you kidding?" Heather said. "I've been on this island longer than you." She swiped the map from Chris. "This will be a piece of cake." "On your mark ..." Chris said. Alejandro sighed heavily. "You mean: a piece of pie." "Get set!" "Listen, you ..." Heather said. Chris pressed on an air horn. The Vultures ran past the starting line. "After them!" Courtney said. "They have the map!" The Hamsters sprinted after the Vultures. Jo glanced back. "We have to ditch the Heroes or they'll ride our coattails to the finish!" "Sabotage?" Scott asked. "This is my sort of thing!" He stopped by a pile of rocks and pressed on them with his foot. Jo joined him. Together, they kicked the rocks down. The Hamsters gasped and screeched to a halt as the rocks blocked their view of the Vultures. "Climb, climb!" Courtney ordered. "We could just go around," Lindsay said. Zoey leaped onto the rocks without a second thought and catapulted over them. Courtney grabbed Lindsay's hand. "We vote her out next, got it? With Sam gone, you need all the help I can give." "Uh, can I think about it first?" Lindsay said. "No," Courtney snapped. "That's my job." "Crud!" Duncan said. "How are we supposed to find the Villains now?" "I can get a better look!" Zoey said. "Like I did in the leechball challenge." She climbed up the trees, flipping onto branches. "Whoa," Duncan said. "Does she always do that?" "Pretty nice skills, huh, Duncan?" Courtney said. "She could be a threat." "Hate to say it," Duncan said. "But Courtney's got a point." "I think Courtney sees me as a threat rather than as a friend," Zoey said. "My friendship with Lindsay and my relationship with Mike outnumbers her and Duncan. Hmm." The Vultures ran through the woods and laughed at the Hamsters' misfortune. "They'll never find their way back now," Scott cheered. "Who knew sabotaging the other team could be so thrilling?!" Gwen slowed down to a jog beside Cameron. "Hey, Cameron," She said awkwardly. "So, uh, enjoying your time as a Villain?" "Not really," Cameron said. Gwen blinked. "Oh, okay, then." The two ran awkwardly alongside each other. Heather glared at Gwen. She sighed. "Look, Cameron, I just wanted to say thanks for yesterday. After I puked during the obstacle course, I felt useless and you cheered me up." "No problem," Cameron said. "I can be very observant. It's the one perk from being in a bubble all your life. I knew you needed cheering up. You're not all that villainous." "I thought I wasn't either," Gwen sighed. "But, being around these four," She gestured to the remaining members of the team. "And constantly called a villain, it starts to get you. Maybe I wasn't the hero I always believed I was." "Why do you say that?" "I was a jerk to mostly everyone the first time I was here," Gwen said. "I convinced my ex-boyfriend's team to vote him off, and then cost my team the challenge by throwing it. I kissed Duncan even though I knew he was dating Courtney and tried getting Cody and Heather to vote her off right when we were starting to be friend-ish." "Hmm," Cameron said. "Sounds heavy. I guess the only piece of advice I can offer is –" "Cameron!" Mike shouted. "What the -?" Jo turned. "How'd the Heroes find us?" "Who cares? Hurry!" Heather said. "You guys, look!" Lindsay pointed to the sky. The moon glowed blue, covering the island in a fog. A squirrel growled and bared its teeth, attacking a bear. An orange bird with freckles crashed through the Spa Hotel and attacked an intern. Bunnies hopped toward the Vultures as the Hamsters ran to a halt beside them. They surrounded the campers. Bears and alligators ran off. The campers screamed. Mike wheezed, causing the fifth personality to appear. "A Blue Harvest Moon ... How fortuitous." He whispered. "Do I believe this Blue Harvest Moon brought me a back? Not in the slightest. But, now that I'm in control, I'll torment these peons a little. Get them out of the running for the million. Mike won't know how to thank me."'' "What was that, Mike?" Zoey asked. The fifth personality growled. "I said, ‘how fortuitous’. The Blue Harvest Moon affects the wildlife, making them act the opposite, then that means our bacon hats and sausage tails won't attract bears and we'll be able to nab one of these animals for the challenge." "Oh, right, yeah,” Zoey said. “What's up with your voice?" "We're sitting ducks out here!" Courtney said. A duck quacked. "I'm not gonna be taken down by a gang of bunnies" Scott crossed his arms, but the bunnies jumped on him, knocking him down. "Help! I'm being taken down by a gang of bunnies!" The Hamsters and Vultures ran past Scott and the bunnies. "I wasn't scared of those bunnies," Scott said. "I was surprised. Totally different." Loud growls interrupted his confessional. Scott shrieked. He turned to the camera. "Ah, um ... I mean ..." He lowered his voice and deepened his scream. Lindsay and Zoey screamed and ran from a duck. Courtney waved off a flock of birds. The fifth personality stopped at the edge of a hill and whistled the tune of "Into the Mountain King". Duncan flinched. "Wait a second," He walked up to the personality. "I know that tune." The personality laughed, shaking his head. "Oh, Duncan, you never were the brightest cellmate." "What does that mean?" Duncan asked. The personality kneed Duncan in the groin and side-stepped as he fell, clutching his groin. With a slap to his head, Duncan tumbled down the side of the cliff, screaming. The personality chuckled and calmly walked through a group of ravenous bunnies. One hopped into his arms and purred as he petted him. He spotted the Villains as they ran into the forest. The personality tossed the bunny to the side and rubbed his hands. "Perfect." Zoey sighed. "Is everyone okay?" Lindsay sobbed. "How could something so cute be so cruel?!" "Hey, where are the guys?!" Courtney looked around the area. Zoey, Lindsay, and Courtney gasped. Scott screamed as a bunny bit his butt and ran in circles. "Ow, ow, ow, ow!" "Hurry up, Heather, you have the map!" Alejandro shouted. "I'm wearing wedges. I don't run in wedges." Heather calmly walked after Alejandro and Jo. "Besides, we're halfway to the finish line. Shouldn't we be worried about catching an animal?" "I think Scott's got that covered," Gwen said. Scott screeched as more bunnies began biting onto him. Gwen chuckled. Heather slowed down to let Gwen catch up to her. "So, how's Operation: Befriend the Nerd? Did you get him to trust you yet?" "I think so," Gwen looked away. "But, maybe, we should concentrate on getting someone else. Like Scott! Jo hates Scott and he hates her. He'd be perfect." "Puh-lease!" Heather said. "Scott used to throw challenges. Once we take out Jo and Alejandro, we take him out next. And, plus, we can afford to lose someone like Cameron." "What?" Cameron ran up to Gwen and Heather. "You were only pretending to be my friend?" "Awkward," Heather said. "Cameron, no," Gwen said. "It's not like that." "No, forget it!" Cameron said. "I knew I should only have trusted Zoey and Mike. But, then again, that's what I get for trusting a villain!" He tripped and fell on the ground. "Cameron!" Gwen said. "Forget him. If he gets up, we win. If he doesn't, then we know who to vote for." Heather said. "But," Gwen said. "Come on," Heather said. "We have a challenge to win! Get it together." "Since when do I let Heather tell me what to do?" Gwen asked. Cameron groaned as he struggled to stand. As he did so, his glasses broke in two and fell off his face. "Oh, no! I can't see without my glasses!" "Hey, Cam, you okay?" Cameron made out the blurry figure of Mike as he helped him brush off dirt from his sweater. "Mike, is that you?" Cameron asked. "Thank goodness! I'll never trust another villain again." "Your glasses," Mike's fifth personality faked a sympathetic voice. "What happened? You know what, don't worry. Here, hold on to this stick," He grabbed a stick from the floor and placed it in Cameron's hands. "That way we won't get separated." Cameron gripped the branch and yelped as the personality ran after the Villains. The fifth personality's bacon hat fell and landed on the ground. Birds gathered around it and started pecking. A duck grabbed the hat and placed it on its head. It quacked gruffly and continued to walk. "Mike?!" Zoey walked around the clearing. "Mike?! Where are you?" "Don't worry, Zoey," Lindsay said. "Mike's here somewhere. I went through the same thing when I couldn't find Tyler at the film lot." "He wasn't competing that season!" Courtney snapped. "Hey!" Duncan's voice pierced the air. "Hey! Can anyone hear me?" "Duncan?!" Courtney shouted. "Where are you?! We have a challenge to win!" "Down here!" Duncan's voice came at the base of a hill. Zoey, Lindsay, and Courtney peered over the drop. Duncan stood at the end of a steep hill, rubbing his head. "Duncan?" Zoey asked. "How'd you get down there?" "Why don't you ask your boyfriend?" Duncan said. "He's the one who knocked me down here." Zoey gasped. "But, why would Mike do that? Laughing at Sam, lashing out at me, promising revenge on the Vultures, pushing Duncan off a cliff? It's like he's a different person." "Is Mickey with you?" Lindsay asked. "No," Duncan said. "He went off after the Villains." "That's weird." Zoey said. "Mike usually doesn't like to go anywhere without me – except the bathroom, of course. And you guys didn't need to know that, did you?" Courtney rolled her eyes. "Can you try climbing up the hill?" "It's too steep!" Duncan called. "I might have to go around and meet you guys at the finish line." "How would you know how to get there?" Zoey asked. "Trust me, sweetheart," Duncan said. "This isn't the first time I've been forced to find my way back to camp." "We're not heading to camp, are we?" Lindsay said. "It's an expression," Courtney said. "But, he shouldn't go alone. I'll go with him." "I knew Courtney had a heart somewhere." Zoey said. "Make sure he doesn't try to spill our weaknesses to Gwen and her pack of vultures." Courtney said. She began climbing down the hill. "Be careful!" Zoey said. Cameron held on to the stick as the personality dragged him through the woods. "I'm so sorry about ignoring you yesterday, Mike. I never should have trusted anyone besides you and Zoey." "Don't sweat it, Cam," The personality growled. "You've learned your lesson." "It's just," Cameron said. "I promised to help you with your problem and I'm going to do exactly that. This is something I should have told you sooner, but I was afraid that he might come out and stop me again." "Who?" "I'm calling him, The Malevolent One," Cameron said. "Mal, for short." "I like it." Mal chuckled. "Thanks! I was going to call him Bad Mike, but that just made it sound like you were a dog who just finished peeing on the carpet." "Thanks." Mal said dryly. He chuckled. "Cameron thinks he can actually help Mike? I'll hear what he has to say and then decide what is truly best for Mike." He cracked his knuckles. "Ooh," Chris said from a tent in the forest. Monitors behind him displayed Courtney and Duncan walking through a clearing, Lindsay and Zoey running through the forest, the Vultures running to a wooden bridge, and Slender Man. "Things are getting twisted. Who will make it to the other side of the island and who's about to become a serving of teen cuisine? Stay tuned to find out, right here on ... Total ... Drama ... All-Stars!" Act II Heather, Jo, Alejandro, Gwen, and Scott gathered at the edge of a cliff. In front of them was a chasm with a river. Only a rickety rope bridge connected the other side of the island. "A rope bridge?" Gwen scoffed. "Obviously it's a trap. We should go around." "That'll take three times as long," Jo said. "Well, I'm not crossing that thing," Gwen walked back toward the woods. "And anyone with any brains will follow me." "Way to be supportive, Miss Team Player," Heather said. "Loner, remember?" Gwen called back. "What if you get lost?" Alejandro asked. "Every member of the team must make it over the finish line for us to win." Gwen walked further inland. "I'll see you on the other side! You know, if you make it." She shook her head. "Talk about gullible! Anyone who's ever seen a movie knows that the rope bridge always breaks." Lindsay and Zoey ran further into the woods. "I don't understand what’s wrong with Mike," Zoey said. "He's been acting so weird lately." "He has Dissociative Identity Disorder, right?" Lindsay said. "Multiple Personality Disorder," Zoey said. "I'm pretty sure that's the same thing," Lindsay said uncertainly. "Anyway, the point is, maybe this Mike is an evil identity who's making him do bad things." "I've met all of Mike's personalities," Zoey said. "The only one who's trouble is Vito, but this doesn't seem like him. The deep, scary voice and new hairstyle, it's almost malicious." "Now you're just being silly," Lindsay smiled. "Zoey's going through a rough patch with Mike. Her head isn't in the game, but mine totally is! I won us the leechball challenge and I usually never help win challenges. Until Zoey's out of boy trouble, I think it's time for Admiral Lindsay, Her Hotness to make a comeback. Anyone know where I can find a cute admiral outfit?" Alejandro, Heather, Jo, and Scott stared at the rope bridge. "Well, who wants to go first?" Jo stared at Heather. Heather turned, slapping Jo's face with her ponytail. "I'll do it!" Scott raised his hand. "Back home, we have a special way to cross these bridges." He cleared his throat. With arms flailing, Scott screamed and ran across the rope bridge. Alejandro, Heather, and Jo glanced at each other. Scott sighed as he reached the other side. "Like I said, nothing to it." A beaver chattered. "Um ... are beavers normally nice or normally evil?" The beaver attacked Scott's hands. "Ow! Ow! Agh!" He threw the beaver onto one of the ropes. It chewed on the material until it snapped and caused the bridge to tilt sideways. "No!" Alejandro, Heather, and Jo shouted. Scott screamed as the beaver clamped around its butt. "My butt is not a chew toy!" "Try not to lose this one, Farm Animal!" Jo said. "Good job! Keep it busy," Alejandro snickered. "Shall we go?" Alejandro, Heather, and Jo stepped onto the rope tentatively. They placed their hands on the rail, trying to keep their balance. A floorboard underneath Heather broke. She screamed as she fell toward the chasm. Alejandro reached down and grabbed her hand, lifting her back onto the rope. "I knew you still cared about her," Jo said. "What was he supposed to do?" Heather snapped. "Let me fall?" "Tempting," Alejandro said. "But, you forget, we need all members to win the challenge!" Jo rolled her eyes. "Sure. That's your excuse." Alejandro, Heather and Jo stepped onto the other side of the chasm. Scott clung to a tree as the beaver pulled at his butt. "Be useful and chew through these, will you?" Jo grabbed the beaver off of Scott and pressed its teeth to the rope, gnawing off the rest of the bridge. "Now the other team won't be able to use the bridge!" Alejandro said. "Brilliant plan, Jo!" "But if Gwen can't make it around the pit," Heather said. "The bridge is no longer an option, is it?" "She's right," Alejandro said. "Terrible plan, Jo!" "Whatever!" Jo tossed the beaver to Scott. "Take care of this for us. We'll need it to complete the challenge." Scott screamed as the beaver attached itself to his butt. Mal rolled his eyes as he and Cameron ran through the woods. "If we examine everything you've told me," Cameron said. "Then I think it's safe to assume that you stopped being able to transform around the time we first arrived at the island. Maybe it was when Chef hit you with the suitcase!" "Good point, Cam!" Mal faked Mike's voice. "Anything else?" "Let's see," Cameron said. "If you hit your head hard enough that your four personalities got sealed away, then it makes sense that something came out. After all, Newton's third law states for every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction. If Mal is like any of your other personalities, than he must have his own trigger!" "You mean, if we find this trigger and Mike – I mean, I – can avoid it, Mal won't come out?" Mal asked cautiously. "Exactly!" Cameron said. "And I think I know what it is: an act of evil." "How so?" "Well," Cameron said. "Evil is a loose definition, but generally whenever something heinous happens, Mal must be drawn to the chaos. You told me you had lapses in memory when I fell into that booby trap, you shifted somewhat when the Vultures laughed at Sam after he got stung by a jellyfish, and Mal attacked me during the leechball challenge after the Vultures shot Zoey with leeches. That challenge was pretty evil." "What about yesterday, Cam?" Mal asked. "I remember laughing when I felt like barfing." "Mal must not be strong enough yet! It must have taken a lot out of him to appear before me like he did. He must have been saving his energy for something really important." Cameron said. "But as long as we keep you away from evil, you'll be fine." "You just may be on to something, Cameron," Mal chuckled. His eyes focused on the pit. He smirked and swung the stick forward. Cameron yelped and rolled until he stopped at the edge of the pit. "Sorry, lost my footing." He spotted the pit and screamed. Cameron walked backwards slowly, but bumped into Mal. "Mike?" Mal grabbed Cameron by the hood and hung him over the pit. "Mike's gone," Mal said. "I promised I'd stop injuring the lives of others to get him out of juvie, but it's just too much fun." Cameron screamed. "Mal?!" He gasped. "When the animals surrounded us, the chaos it created and fear we felt, that brought you out, didn't it?" "The one and only," Mal snickered. "I warned you to keep your distance from Mike, pal, and now you must suffer the consequences for disobeying me. I know what's best for Mike, and it's not you or Zoey or anyone else. It's me!" "Mike!" Zoey called from within the trees. "Where are you?" Mal rolled his eyes. "Great. Just what I needed: witnesses." Without a second thought, he let go of Cameron's hood. Cameron screamed as he fell toward the chasm. "Gravity times 'nerd-arms' equals five minutes max before he crashes." Mal chuckled. Courtney and Duncan walked awkwardly alongside each other. "You know," Duncan said. "You didn't have to babysit me. I could have found my way back to camp without you." "Please," Courtney rolled her eyes. "As if I care what happens to you. I'm just here to make sure you aren't feeding any of our weaknesses to Gwen. She has you wrapped in her Goth-y spell. Ever since she picked you for her team." "Are you still bringing that up?" Duncan said. "She was just a friend at the time." "The same couldn't be said a year later," Courtney said. "She kissed you in the bathroom on the plane while you and I were still together! She backstabbed me and we were friend-ish!" Duncan raised an eyebrow. "Why are you still blaming Gwen for that? I kissed her." Courtney blinked. "You kissed her? YOU KISSED HER?!" "Didn't anyone tell you?" Duncan asked. "Or didn't you watch the season?" "Of course I didn't watch the season!" Courtney said. "Well," Duncan said. "If you're going to blame anyone, blame me. But, then again, your actions weren't squeaky clean either. You tried going after Tyler even though you knew he was going out with Lindsay." "Tyler?!" Lindsay's voice squealed. Courtney and Duncan looked around confusedly. "That's not the same thing!" Courtney protested. Duncan laughed. "I don't get why it still bothers you, I mean, it was like two years ago. You still don't have the hots for me, do you?" Courtney scoffed. "Of course not. Not after what you and Gwen both did to me. I was a wreck, but you didn't care, no one cared! But, no matter how anti-social Gwen gets, she still has friends – and she still got you! The only person I really connected with the first time we were here! Who do I have on this show?" "Are you saying you're jealous of Gwen?" Duncan asked. Courtney sniffed. "No!" She covered her eyes with her hands and quietly sobbed. Duncan sighed. "I guess we both messed up, huh? Some more than others, but I admit, I should have listened to you. That was in the past, though, and we need to put that aside if either of us want a chance of making it to the finale. Forgive me?" Courtney glared at Duncan. "I don’t know if I'll ever be able to forgive you, but I can say that I won't try to get you eliminated. You know, so long as you help me vote out Zoey." "Deal," Duncan said. "Duncan was the one who kissed Gwen?" Courtney said. "Wish I knew that. Otherwise, I wouldn't have thrown challenges to eliminate her. Don't get me wrong, I still would have gotten her out, but I wouldn't have thrown the challenges. Do I owe her an apology?" Cameron groaned as he grabbed onto one of the bridge's ropes. "Mike?! Please help!" The rope snapped. Cameron screamed as he plunged into the pit. Alejandro, Heather, Jo, and Scott ran across the woods. "Pasty!" Jo shouted. "Where are you?!" "Maybe she's at the finish line already?" Alejandro said. Gwen screamed as she ran past Courtney and Duncan, pursed by squirrels. Courtney and Duncan screamed and joined her in running from the animals. "Gwen!" Duncan said. "Heads up!" He threw his sausage tail, causing the squirrels to follow the meat. Duncan raised the tail as three squirrels bit onto it. "Animal buddies done and done." The three stopped running as they entered the pit. "Thanks," Gwen stopped to catch her breath beside the river and gasped as she spotted Courtney. "Oh ... look ... the three of us ... together ... again," She chuckled nervously. "Expecting someone else?" Courtney asked. Cameron screamed as he fell from the rope bridge and collapsed into the river. "Cameron?" Gwen reached into the river and pulled out Cameron. Cameron groaned. "Malevolent One ... Mike ... Mal ... juvie ... evil." "Juvie?" Duncan gasped. "Oh man, I knew Mike seemed familiar. When I was a lowly punk in juvie, he was running the place. And he is bad news." Cameron retched out water. "Gwen? You ... you saved me?" "Well, yeah, why wouldn't I?" Gwen asked. Cameron wrapped his arms around Gwen. "I'm sorry I was so cold to you. Mike had me going, but from here on in, I trust you completely." "So, uh, wanna find a way to the finish line or stop hugging or something?" Gwen said. Cameron tried to stand, but yelped and fell. "I don't think I can walk any further. Carry me?" Gwen sighed and scooped up Cameron. She snickered and ran. "See you at the finish line." "Hey!" Duncan and Courtney said and ran after her. Lindsay and Zoey walked up to Mike and gasped as they saw the broken rope bridge. "The bridge is out!" Zoey noted. "How are we supposed to get across now?" "We can try jumping off the cliff," Mal snickered. "Here, why don't you go first?" "Mike!" Zoey said. "That's not funny." "I know how we can cross the pit!" Lindsay squealed. "This is just what I was talking about. Admiral Lindsay, Her Hotness always has a plan!" Lindsay stood on a branch with a rope tied to the top of a tree. Zoey and Mal hung onto the rope and glanced at each other uncertainly. "I'm not sure about this," Zoey said. "Trust me!" Lindsay said. "Admiral Lindsay, Her Hotness learned that you can cross anything with a rope. Just like how Carl saved me and Trent from the quicksand. Hold on tight!" Mal chuckled and tugged on the rope as Lindsay swung, causing the rope to tear. She, Mal, and Zoey screamed as they crossed the pit and struck a tree. The three collapsed onto the edge of the cliff and groaned. Heather, Jo, Alejandro, and Scott sighed as they crossed the finish line. "Get off!" Scott grumbled and swung his beaver. The beaver rolled and stopped in front of Chris. “Welcome to the finish line, Villains!” Chris said. “Seems like you’re still missing some players." "Gwen's still not here?!" Heather said. "Hey," Jo said. "When did we lose Chicken Legs?" Mike, Zoey, and Lindsay rubbed their heads as they stood. Their eyes widened as they saw Duncan, holding the sausage tail and squirrels, and Courtney chasing after Gwen and Cameron. “Huh! There you are!" Zoey said. "We still have a chance!" Lindsay squealed. Cameron gulped as Mal grinned widely. The Blue Harvest Moon glowed brightly until the blue moonlight vanished. The Hamsters, Gwen, and Cameron ran toward the finish line. "Gwen and Cameron!" Alejandro said. "The moon curse is over! Hurry!" "They know it's over," Heather said. "They don't need you to narrate." Mal ran faster than the Hamsters. He ran up to Gwen and kicked her heel as she lifted her feet to run. Gwen screamed and fell. Cameron tumbled out of her arms and collapsed on the ground. Mal snickered until the light reached him, causing him to wheeze. "Huh? How did I get here?" Duncan, Courtney, Lindsay, and Zoey ran across the finish line. "Mike, hurry!" Zoey shouted. Gwen picked up Cameron and ran past Mike. "Oh!" Mike sprinted, but Gwen and Cameron crossed the finish line. "No!" Courtney, Duncan, Lindsay, and Zoey shouted as Mike crossed after the Villains. "Help!" Gwen said. "Cameron needs help!" "And the winners are," Chris looked at both teams. "The Vultures ... again!" "Didn't you hear me?" Gwen said. "Cameron needs medical help, stat!" Alejandro, Heather, Jo, and Scott cheered. Courtney, Duncan, Lindsay, Mike, and Zoey groaned. Gwen glared at Chris as Cameron lay unconscious in her arms. Act III Jo, Alejandro, and Scott sat at the back of the peanut gallery while Heather, Gwen, and Cameron sat at the back. Cameron was wrapped in bandages. Courtney, Lindsay, Mike, and Zoey made their way to the tree stumps. Gwen sighed. "Wish I could be on the Heroes team." "You want to be on the losing team?" Heather scoffed. "Please." "Aw," Duncan said. "Cheer up, Gwen." He kissed Gwen’s cheek. "There. That should do it." Gwen smirked. "That was surprisingly cheesy of you." "Yeah," Duncan said. "Well, blame the Heroes team." Gwen glanced at Courtney. "Huh, for once, Courtney isn't glaring at me. Did you have something to do with that too, Mr. Hero?" "I'm turning emotional. That team's bringing out the good in me." Duncan shivered. "But, speaking of her, I just wanted to say ... I'm sorry. I shouldn't have spent all that time trying to get her attention. She's my past and you're my future. Your attention is the only one I need." "Careful. I'm starting to really like this new Duncan." Gwen smirked. Duncan grinned. "I'll see you after the ceremony. You know; if I don't get voted off." He walked to the stumps. "You need to stop socializing with Duncan," Heather said. "Affiliating with the other team is making you look back. If we want to get rid of Alejandro and Jo –" "Agh!" Gwen turned to Heather. "I can't do this anymore! Listen up. I don't like you and you don't like me. You can't tell me what to do, what not to do, or how to act. Find a new ally cause I'm out!” She crossed her arms and turned to Cameron. Alejandro and Jo snickered to each other. Heather gasped. "Are you kidding me?! She chooses to do this now! Ugh! I should have known better than to try to make nice with Weird Goth Girl! Great! Just great!” She smirked. "You know what? It's better this way. If you want something done right, you've gotta do it yourself." "Listen up, peeps," Chris said. "Each of you is a loser in your own right, but the Villains won the challenge, so they've earned themselves another night of luxurious luxury at my spa hotel. Now, it's time for the Heroes to vote someone out." ''Courtney smiled. "As long as my allies vote with me, I have nothing to worry about." She raised a picture of Zoey and crossed it out. Duncan shrugged and crossed out a picture of Zoey. Zoey and Mike glanced at their pictures warily. Lindsay frowned uncertainly at a picture of Zoey. She placed an admiral cap on her head and smiled triumphantly. Chris held up the pictures and a tray of marshmallows. "When I call your name, come up and claim your marshmallow. Mike, Duncan, Lindsay. There is only one marshmallow left. Courtney, you've been out of sorts ever since you joined. Zoey, you’re seen as a threat. Only one of you will have a chance at one million dollars." Courtney glared. Zoey frowned. "The person staying in the game is ... Zoey. Courtney, you're gone." "WHAT?!" Courtney stood. "But how?" Lindsay waved innocently. "Sorry. It's just: I don't even think you're really a Hero." "Which is why today's ejected Hero is tomorrow's Villain!" Chris said. "WHAT?!" Alejandro, Heather, and Gwen said. Chris walked over to Cameron. "Cameron here is too injured to continue. Jumping off cliffs when you have a medical condition will do that to you. So, as rules and my cruel streak dictate, he will be flushed." "Then what was with the votes?" Courtney asked. "I needed one of the Heroes to take his place since y'know, they're the winners." "But I don't want to be a Villain!" Courtney protested. "Not only that, but you get to spend the night in exile on Boney Island." Chris smiled. Scott raised his hand. "I volunteer for exile in her place!" Chris shrugged. "Sure. I don't care." "Sorry, babe," Scott waved to Courtney. "While I'd love to welcome you to our team, I've gotta find that invincibility statue." He pressed the claw over his head and smiled as Chef, in a helicopter, carried him back to Boney Island. Courtney sighed in relief. The Vultures, Zoey, and Mike stood by the docks as Cameron, wrapped in bandages and a bubble, floated in the Flush of Shame. "I'll miss you, Cam." Zoey said. "You get better okay?" Gwen said. "Bye buddy." Mike waved and stepped forward. Cameron's eyes bulged. He tried to back up in the toilet, but Chris pressed the button on his remote. He disappeared into the Flush of Shame, screaming behind his bandages. The Vultures cringed as toilet water splashed onto them. "Think they've had enough punishment?" Chris asked. "Yeah, me neither. Find out who's next to take the plunge when we return with another all new episode of Total ... Drama ... All-Stars!" Exclusive clip Cameron screamed as he fell out of a sewer into the Victorian Outback. He groaned as his wheelchair wheeled forward and bumped into a kangaroo. The kangaroo growled and kicked him off Hanging Rock and into a pile of sheep. Category:A to Z Category:Total Drama All-Stars (Rewrite) transcripts